David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
