You're my little dorito
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
