my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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