after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
