I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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