I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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