The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
too bad you live with your parents still
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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