she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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