best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
