it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's the barista slut.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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