dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
