i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
