New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
third nipple confirmed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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