so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
