I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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