Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
