My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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