your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
