this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I touched a dick in church today
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
