69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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