I never want to see another naked old woman again.
one might say we're banned from that church
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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