Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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