I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
