Kiss
Puke
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
