i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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