She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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