So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
