k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize