I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
