Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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