so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
