lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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