I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Mom said you looked used
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
