why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
