Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
