Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
