im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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