So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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