Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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