Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
