I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
