i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
