would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize