Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
