there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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