Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
