we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
