I wish I could teleport
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize