I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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