he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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