I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.