Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.