Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?