There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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