i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
