Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
