So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
