I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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