so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
