now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
