Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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