we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize