..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
